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<title>Ginger cat dreams *Helping Arthur with his anxiety by ArthurFlecksGirl</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23660773">Ginger cat dreams *Helping Arthur with his anxiety</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArthurFlecksGirl/pseuds/ArthurFlecksGirl'>ArthurFlecksGirl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Joker (2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Love, Mental Illness, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:35:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,143</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23660773</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArthurFlecksGirl/pseuds/ArthurFlecksGirl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You try to find ways to help Arthur with his anxiety.<br/>Cute fluff.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Arthur Fleck/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ginger cat dreams *Helping Arthur with his anxiety</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was one of those nights at apartment 8J in Gotham city.<br/>
I woke up, in the middle of the night, wanting to pull  Arthur closer to me as I realized he wasn`t lying beside me anymore. I was still sleepy, touching his pillow, the other side of the bed to make sure he wasnt there. I whispered his name in the dark. Nothing.<br/>
. At first I though he probably went to the bathroom, but I got up to look after him as he wasnt coming back to bed. I noticed that there was still green,dim light coming from the kitchen. Maybe he forgot to take his meds?<br/>
"Artie? Where are you, baby?" I heard a whimper coming from the corner of the room as I found him sitting on the floor in his underwear, shaking.  I hurried to take him in my arms immediately. "Oh my god, Arthur, are you okay? What happened?"<br/>
He shruged. Not saying a word. It was obvious that he was crying before. "You know I told you, you should wake me up if you feel like this again, remember?". He nodded as I touched the side of his head. There was little blood on it. "Did you bang your head against the wall again?" he pulled his knees close to his chest, looking down on the floor.<br/>
It was painful for me to see him in this kind of condition. He got so much better since we met, but it was still happening from time to time. I always knew how to calm him down again. But it was most difficult when it happened at night because he didnt wanted to wake me when he felt an episode kicking in. He always thought it was bothering me. Silly boy. I Just wish he would tell me right away when he felt like this.<br/>
"C`mon, we have  to check this wound. You hurt yourself again." I tried to pull him up but he wouldnt move. I noticed how cold his body was. He must have climbed into the fridge again. But I didnt asked him. All I wanted was to make him feel better.<br/>
I sat down beside him. He finally looked at me, leaning towards me, laying his head upon my lap. Another whimper.<br/>
"Let it out, Arthur. Just let yourself go. Its okay" I touched his brown curls gently as he started to cry. He just needed to cry sometimes, afterwards he felt better, usually. It was difficult for him to cry before we met. His condition wouldnt let him do it. There was this painful laughter inside of him instead, trying to come through, everytime he felt like crying. The laughter wouldnt allow him to cry. He was fighting against it but the laughter won.  On bad days it was nearly choking him.<br/>
That was one thing he was really worried about when we started dating. He thought I couldnt deal with it. But it wasnt a problem for me really. The only problem was to see him in so much pain. I just wanted him to be free of it. And I was more than happy to see that it got better since he knew I was on his side. He always told me that I helped him a lot. But since some of his problems were caused by brain injury and childhood trauma I couldnt make his condition go away compleately. It was still there. But we tried our best to go though it together. And I knew that I would never leave his side. Come what may. I loved him more than anything else in the whole world. He was my world. Being able to hold him in my arms, wiping his tears away during his most vulnerable moments meant the world to me.<br/>
Big, salty tears running down his cheeks. "Arthur, look at me". He looked up. I kissed his tears away. His body started to calm down, the shaking got a lot better now. "You`re freezing. Don`t you wanna come back to bed?". He rested his head upon my lap again, like he wanted me to stay here with him on the floor. "Its okay...you don`t need to talk if you don`t feel like it right now. Just know that I am here, okay?"  "I know" he whispered so quietly I barely heard his soft voice.<br/>
Thats when I noticed the food lying on the other side of the room. The fridge must be empty. That was the proof that he really climbed into it again. I was worried. His medication doesnt seem to help very much. And there was no way to get him more. He was already on seven different ones. Maybe that was the problem. I worried about the side effects a lot but he was convinced that he needed his meds. So as the doctors.<br/>
I still tried to think of something else that could calm him down or at least help him with his anxiety. Since I noticed how much our love helped him to get better... there must be something else that could calm him down from time to time.<br/>
"I`m sorry" he finally spoke again.<br/>
"For what?"<br/>
"I´m sorry to be a burden"<br/>
"Artie no..."<br/>
"And I´m sorry for this mess" he pointed to the food on the floor....<br/>
"I...just....the toughts inside of my head...the noises... I just wanted it to stop."<br/>
He was lying there like a bundle of sadness. My thighs wet from hs tears.<br/>
"Why wouldnt you wake me?"<br/>
"I don`t wanna bother you with my problems..."<br/>
I caress his lips with my index finger "Listen, Arthur. You could never bother me. I wanna be here for you. Most importantly when you feel like this. Do you hear me? Don`t you ever dare to go to the kitchen all by yourself again at night, when the noises get too loud!"<br/>
He sat up and playced a salty kiss upon my lips "Thank you"<br/>
"No need to thank me, sweetheart! You know that I love you, right?"<br/>
"Yeah..."<br/>
I caressed his arms to warm him up a bit. He was still cold.<br/>
"But why would you love me?" his eyes, so incredibly sad.<br/>
"Because you deserve it. Because you are the most wonderful man I have ever met. Because your heart is pure. Because you are YOU, Arthur."<br/>
He touched the wound on his head "I did it again...is...is it bad?"<br/>
"I dont think so. Its just a tiney bit of blood" I checked the wound.<br/>
"Good"<br/>
I helped him get up and we both got to the bathroom to  take care of his injury.<br/>
"This might burn a bit now, Artie"<br/>
"Okay" his little voice. Sometimes he reminded me of a little boy. I knewthat he never received love when he was a child and i think the boy within him still seeked attention and warmth. And I was here to give him all of that. Everything that was missing in his life.<br/>
"Sweetheart, I thought of something that might help you with your anxiety." I said as I cleaned the wound.<br/>
"What is it?"<br/>
"There are organisations you can visit to spent time with pets. You know, petting them, taking care of them ,playing with them. It calms the mind a lot. It should help with anxiety. There might be cats I think and other animals. Horses,.."<br/>
"Cats?" his eyes lighted up a lot.<br/>
"Sure"<br/>
"I always wanted a cat. An orange one with soft fur and green eyes. I dont know why...I always..." he swallowed hard "I always imagined having one that looks like that".<br/>
"Thats wonderful, Arthur. I will look up the phone book and find one of those organisations nearby. I`m sure there is one in Gotham. I went there once with my mum when I was a little kid". I regrettet telling him this. He never had a family who would have visited such a place with him. But he smiled "I would love to go there with you."<br/>
"Thats it, Artie. It should heal just fine"<br/>
"T-thank you Y/N"<br/>
I told him that he should go back to bed to find some sleep. But he wasnt really sleepy, so we just went to bed to watch some of his fave episode of the Murray Franklin show together. He was still laughing at the jokes he watched for a hundered times. Our bodies entwined. He was trying to tickle my feet with his big toe, which always made me laugh. I pulled him closer, to make sure to keep him warm. Finally the cold seemed to leave his body. I hoped he wouldnt get sick. Who knows for how long he sat there inside of the fridge? Asking him wouldnt help. Arthur lost all sense of time during his breakdowns. His eyes got heavier during the third episode and he finally fell asleep. I pressed myself against him, sharing the warmth of my body until I drifted away,too.</p><p>Two days later I found the number I needed and called. Arthur couldnt wait to see all the animals there. He was talking about it  all the time the day before. Just as excited as a kid. It warmed my heart to see him being excited over something like that. I knew that this day would create a happy memory for him. So it was special to me,too.<br/>
His smile got wider and wider as we entered the huge animal park. There was so much space for the pets to run around and play. Big fields and beautiful flowers on the sidewalks. Arthur picked me a flower while humming a song that he was hearing only. "Thats for you, my beautiful angel" he said and put the flower in my pocket. I gave him a kiss on the lips as we walked through the gates. We paid and the man on the counter explained us everything. Like, what animals they have and what we can feed them and pet them. And that we should check the signs. Arthur bought a small basket with goodies and swang it back and forth as we arrived where the dogs ran free, playing with kids and their parants. "Look, wow there are so many!" It was like he barely had contact to nature and pets in his past. All he knew was the skyscrapers in the city, the lifeless atmosphere of Anderson ave. It felt so good to get him out of there.<br/>
He watched the kids playing with poodles and terriers, then he pointed to a shepard "look at this one. He is standing there all alone". We walked towards the dog, which seemed to be really shy. "C`mon buddy. I´m not going to harm you in any way" Arthur kneed on the ground "Whats your name?" The dog gave him a skepical look, but came closer. "Its okay, come here". I watched them both as Arthur started to pet the dog. "Oh, he has a name tag on his  collar. Lets see... Sam. Oh hi Sam" the dog wagged his tail as Arthur was calling out his name and started barking friendly. Arthur turned around to look at me "Y/N look at Sammy boy, I think he likes me!"  I smiled at them both "Sure he does. Who wouldnt like you, Arthur?"<br/>
He picked up a tennis ball and threw it as far as he could. The shepard running fast to get it. Arthur laughed. His eyes sparkling. I already knew that coming here was the right desicion. He loved being there for others. Human or animals. And he loved the feeling of someone else loving him. So this animal farm was just perfect.<br/>
"Artie, I will get some ice cream, do you want some?"<br/>
"Sure!"<br/>
As I came back with two huge cups of ice cream with his fave flavors he was still playing with Sam, rolling on the ground. I couldnt help but laugh "Arthur, what are you doing?" he looked so happy "I didnt even know dogs can be so much fun. I guess I made a new friend". He was even out of breath from playing around. The dog tried to climb up on him "Stop it Sammy" he laughed. A lttle girl came alon, looking at the shepard "Hi doggy" she said. Arthur stood up "Thats Sammy, he loves to play with his tennis ball. Do you want to play with him? I`ll go check on the other animals now". The child looked up at Arthur, nodding.<br/>
I handed him his ice cream "Ohhh , my fave flavours!"<br/>
"Of course"<br/>
He started eating it as we walked by the sheeps and goats. He threw them some corn and watched them eat. "This is for you all, eat"" he looks at me "I´ve never been at a place like this. Its beautiful. "<br/>
I took his free hand "C`mon , we gotta go see the horses".<br/>
Some beautiful horses stood on a huge field. Some other ones had people on their backs,walking slowly. There was a sign saying that you could get on a horse if you wanted to.<br/>
"Hey Arthur, look. Do you want to get on a horse?" He drank the rest of the melted ice cream out of his cup. "Me? Nahhh...I cant do that" he shook his head.<br/>
"Why not?"<br/>
"I`ve never been on a horses back"<br/>
"Well...pushed him gently through the gate "Thats the point, isnt it?"<br/>
He was looking real scared but smiling.<br/>
"They look huge...they`re bigger than me!"<br/>
I giggled "Artie... you will regret it if we`re back home and you didnt took the chance to ride a horse"<br/>
"What if I fall?"<br/>
"You won`t"<br/>
"But..."<br/>
"Artie...you know you wanna do it."<br/>
He watched two teenage boys on the backs of the strong, brown horses .<br/>
"I mean...it looks like.... fun I guess?!"<br/>
"Thats my boy!"<br/>
We walked up to the young woman who managed it all and helped Arthur to get up on the horse. The woman showed him  the right way to touch a horse and where he had to hold on tight And he listened closely. He didnt wanted to do anything wrong. Arthur looked real scared as the horse started moving but he obviously enjoyed it three minutes in. "Take a picture!" he yelled at me, when he was in the distance. Good thing I brought my polaroid camera with me. I pulled it out and took some pictures of him riding on that horse.<br/>
He looked happy as he got back. I shook the pictures and showed them to him as they were finished. "Oh, thats one cool cowboy right there, huh?" he was joking.<br/>
"My sexy cowboy" I replied.<br/>
He was blushing. "I really wanna see the cats now".<br/>
"C`mon I know where the cats are at." I lead him to the field with the cats. "Awwww god" his voice got even softer "Those are soooo many".<br/>
Cats ran all around us, as we walked in. Many people held cats on their arms, petting them.<br/>
Arthur kneed on the ground, making cute noises "C`mon.." a black and white cat coming upto him, asking for his attention. He pettet her head. I was kneeing down,too. Petting a grey one with long, fluffy fur. "This is paradise" he said "You, know... I really love cats".<br/>
"I know"<br/>
My heart felt so light watching his gentle hands petting the pets. "Look. they really like you".  I looked at his face and I couldnt belive that two days ago he was sitting on the floor after banging his head against the wall. He was in a total different mind set right now. This was all I wanted for him. I was so glad we came here. he was playing with the cats for half an hour.  It seemed like he never wanted to leave again. He held them in his arms like babies, teasing them with their toys. I played with some cats ,too. But I spent most of the time watching him being happy. I tried to absorb every second of it. To keep it in memory.<br/>
Suddenly a door was opened and the smallest, little kittens ran out of a hut. A man running after them.<br/>
"Ohhhh my god Y/N, look! Just look!" he was pointing at a kitten that was running towards us. It was orange.<br/>
He picked it up  and held it close to his chest "Look at you, little sunshine!" The kitten meowed. Arthurs eyes sparkled from happiness as he started petting its little head.<br/>
"Y/N. she looks just like the cat I imagined all my life. The color of her fur and eyes... isnt it  a cutie?"<br/>
The man who was after the kittens came up to us and apologized "I`m sorry. The little ones shouldnt be here on the field".<br/>
Arthur wasnt listening. All his attention was with the orange kitten.<br/>
"She is the most curioius of them all. Always looking for trouble"<br/>
"Oh its a girl?" I asked while I was watching Arthur kissing her head.<br/>
"She is. Sorry again. They should be here. They are not staying here with us"<br/>
Suddenly the man got Arthurs attention.<br/>
"What do you mean?"<br/>
"They`re looking for new owners.<br/>
My heart jumped when I heard the words coming out of the mans mouth.<br/>
"You mean...they are for sale?"<br/>
"Oh yes, the kittens are, for sure"<br/>
Arthur came up to me, the kitten still on his arm, purring.<br/>
"Can I... Y/N....do you think we..."<br/>
"Of course, Arthur" I  blinked at him "We`ll take her home with us. Its the cat you always wanted, right?"<br/>
Arthur pulled the kitten even closer to his chest, while giving me a kiss on the forehead. I felt like he was too happy and excited to even say anything.<br/>
The man smiled "Oh, thats great. I`m glad she found a new home"<br/>
Arthur looked at the man "Does she have a name yet?"<br/>
"No, not yet....you`re free to name her whatever you want"<br/>
Arthur looked at the kitten closely "I guess I`m gonna name her sunshine" a tear of happiness was running down his cheek as I payed and put the kitten in a little box to bring her home savely.<br/>
"I cannot belive we found the kitten I always had in mind today" his hand was squeezing mine. "I hope she likes our apartment"<br/>
"Oh I bet she will, Arthur. She`s with us now. Save and sound. "Our little family"<br/>
I saw Arthurs eyes watering from happiness.<br/>
"Family" he said "Thats all I ever wanted"</p>
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